Today is Fathers Day.
I 'lost' my Dad a couple of years ago.~No, he didn't die, I can almost wish he had. Sadly, my Dad has Vascular Demensia ~ a particularly nasty form of demensia which is caused by circulatory problems. As a point of interest, the mental care team tells me, if he had not given up smoking over 30 years ago, he would have been in this situation YEARS sooner!. As it is ~ with hindsight,~ I reaslise the early signs were there many ,many years ago. I was Dads carer until about 6 months ago ~ but unfortunately, after a particulary nasty 'episode' I had no alternative but to let others take over his care. I will just mention here something I will be blogging in the future ~ whilst 'elder abuse' is a recognised problem ~'carer abuse' is VERY rarely picked up or highlighted, yet it is far more common.
Sadly, my Dad will have no idea it's a special day, I doubt he will even know who I am. He's been a good dad,I love him dearly, we have shared so much, and there are so many happy memories, but as I see him as he is now, & bear scars, mental & physical, from the years of caring for him, I find it difficult to associate him with them. I hope in time I will be able to look back over the years & just remember the happier times ~ but just now it breaks my heart to see this once proud, clever, funny, loving man, brought down to what he is today. Nobody deserves this, certainly not my Dad.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I'm so very sorry for your loss, as it is a loss. It must be so much harder because you're grieving for somebody who is still alive. My thoughts are with you. xx
ReplyDeleteMother has the same, so mothers' day so lost as was her birthday as she claims she's 83& not 90!
ReplyDeleteShe's still at home,tho sometimes I do wonder if we shouldn't have had a better care package.
Hug. words cannot convey feelings as well as actions so have another one *hug*
ReplyDeleteI was my mums carer, she was severely depressed and had a breakdown,attempts on her life etc, was so hard.
ReplyDelete((Hugs)) for you