WHO WANTS TO BE MILLIONAIRE?~~~I DO !!

LONG BLOG WARNING!!~~ You've started & your gonna have to stay till you've finished!!

Shortly before I lost my mum,we were sitting watching a NEW quiz on TV~ Who wants to be a Millionaire~ answering the questions (as you do!) & when the phone in details came on the screen, mum jotted them down on a piece of cardboard (mums bit of recycling!)and gave it to me,saying I should phone in & give it a go as I've always been good at general knowledge (my heads FULL of useless information!). I put the piece of card in my purse & thought no more about it. A couple of weeks later we lost mum.

Several months passed, then one day I found the forgotten piece of card. Just seeing mums writing & remembering that evening broke my heart. I put the card back in my purse~ it was a little bit of mum to carry with me. But I couldn't stop hearing mums words, & eventually I rang the number. After a message giving dates of shows & what to do next, you get a multi choice question, press number such & such ect, if selected we will call you. Nothing difficult!.I began phoning in on a regular basis~ in a way it was a connection with mum. Then the phone bill arrived!! A trip to the building society to take the strain of the budget!I still made regular calls to millionaire but was a bit more selective, making sure I covered all available dates,& included the costs in my savings, so when the phone bills arrived I would draw the money fom my savings account. I got friendly with the girl at the building society & we got talking about *millionaire*. I said I don't know WHY I'm bothering ~I'd have trouble finding up to 10 phone a friends ~ & None of my friends would go with me anyway!(ashamed of me!)To which Linda was quick to respond SHE would LOVE to go with me, So~ the pact was made.

Sometime later ~a Sunday lunchtime ~the phone rings ~ Who wants to be a Millionaire~ you have been selected as one of the 100 from whom the 10 contestants will be chosen. OH YEAH !!??~ I've pulled enough pranks in my time to be wary of anything out of the ordinary~ & I have one or two friends who desperately want payback!!~ I'm certain this is a set up!~ The caller INSIST they are genuine, and says it will take about 10 minutes to go through formalities before asking a question which could take me to the next stage. OK ~I'm being set up ~I'll waste 10 minutes, I'll let whoever is behind it have their revenge~ fair do's!!. The spiel covers had I any criminal convictions, basic personal details,free to attend on the date,any childcare/care provision available, ITV rules ect ect, ~I answer, all the time looking for 'the hook' but it's now starting to dawn ~ this COULD be GENUINE !! Then we get to the question ~always numerical answers at this stage~ if more than 10 people from the 100 answer correctly they will ring again during the week with knock out rounds~ I'm now begining to believe this IS real! QUESTION ~In square kilometers to the nearest(??can't remember??) How big is Ghiana??~10 seconds to answer!!~ I gave a number in hundreds of thousands just off the top of my head!!~ The caller repeats the number back to me for confirmation. I am informed if I have been successful I will recieve a phone call the following Friday between 4pm & 8pm to make arrangements for me be on the show the next day (saturday). If necessary, they would call with knock out questions during the week. Meanwhile, I might like to sort out who my phone a friends would be. I come of the phone TOTALLY confused!~Is it a set up?~Or not???
WHAT if it IS genuine? How BIG IS Ghiana? ~ Some of those African countrys are HUGE ~and some are TINY!!~~ How big is a kilometer??~Is it bigger than a foot?? Damn French making us go metric~ How many hundreds of thousands did I say?? Is that a big lot or a little lot?? If this is a wind up, it's a goodun!! Should I tell anyone about it or not??~~ OH HELL!!~~ I'm working next Saturday!!~ Should I take a days holiday or not?? FLIPPIN 'ECK ~~ WHAT SHOULD I DO ?????
To Be Continued

The Phantom Puzzler~( I DIDN'T DUNNITT!! )

OK ~So I've pulled a few pranks in my time,~Oh alright, more than a few, But PER~LEASE!!~~ What do I have to do to convince you ??~~ I RETIRED from *Puzzle Phantom* when I had to give up work.HONEST.
I had NOTHING to do with that poor old chaps missing last piece from 50,000 piece Jigsaw. HONEST.
I didn't plan, set up, suggest or organise ANYTHING to do with it. HONEST.
I had NO KNOWLEDGE the puzzle was in progress, & don't even know where in the country it is. HONEST.
You can check my cache of *Missing* pieces if you want ~ you won't find it cos it's NOT there. HONEST.

The boredom of long nights walking the corridors in a retired vicars home was relieved by the odd few minutes being spent in the *puzzlers* corner putting the odd pieces in whichever puzzle the residents had on the go at the time. However~ even in the cold dark hours of the night my *imp* was restless. Soon just adding pieces wasn't enough~ I started removing previously added pieces~'hiding' one piece under the board, so that it could 'mysteriously' appear completing the picture that the puzzlers had despaired at the day before, then muttering about prayers being answered when the puzzlers saw the completed puzzle. It even got to the stage where a half done puzzle of Brixham Harbour suddenly became a view of the swiss alps over night complete with boats !! ( I'd discovered that series of puzzles are cut on same machine & were interchangable)
The *Phantom* was born!. All were suspected~ except me~ I worked nights, residents only saw me in emergencies. The place was buzzing, residents were talking to each other, they went into Marple & Columbo mode. To tell them the truth would have spoilt their fun!
I moved on to another unit~(the nature of the job)~but wherever you went, there were ALWAYS puzzles & puzzlers ~ The *Phantom* struck again!!! A Leg~end was born!!